I can't remember if I wrote anything about our NCT classes last year. I was, as far as I can remember, not in a great mental state over the winter feeling a mix of feelings about the loss of youth, the loss of freedom and the prospect of completing the first turn of the wheel of life. I also remember that I didn't have a strong connected with our unborn child - the bump was growing but I didn't feel much. I suspect I was putting things off (well, we were also in the middle of a rather massive building project at home which required the cutting of a window in the wall, external insulation and re-carpeting of the new internal landing, so I was probably quite stressed with that. In fact I seem to remember that the feeling of not wanting Dr K to give birth grew almost exponentially as the time drew nearer, that final two weeks I was madly appreciating every quiet calm evening.
However, what I wanted to write down here is the change brought about by our attendance of the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) course. We joined the Cottenham branch as that was the only one nearby. One thing that made it really extra special was that a yoga friend of Dr K had coincidentally joined the same course and, having a car, was offering to give us a lift. As a result we had a number of consecutive weeks where she would come for a bit of dinner that I made before we all set off arriving invariably a little late. The thing that the NCT class gave me, other than the opportunity to ask questions and meet others in a similar situation (and thereby confront my ignorance) was a sudden connection to the past - it reminded me of the past me who had really longed for a baby and to be a dad. That was such an important piece of my journey to becoming one.
2016-02-05
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